Our awakening appears in this very moment. Buddha’s enlightenment, Buddha’s awakening was about waking up to the moment that we are actually in. We say very often, before this moment is a memory; after this moment is a dream. Right now, we are alive. Right now, Buddha is born. Not 2,500 years ago. Right now is the awakening of Buddha. Zen can seem esoteric, but it’s not about some strange thing. It’s about finding our true self and manifesting it right now in the moment we live in.

So already, we’re starting to wonder what is this thing we call enlightenment? There is this concept. There is this idea. It’s been talked about for 2,500 years.  In America, we’ve been practicing Buddhism for 50 or 60 years. Everybody wants enlightenment. I want enlightenment, so I’ll do these difficult practices because I’ll get something.  But there’s a big problem with that.  Who gets it? And what is it you want?  And if I want something, maybe that gets in the way of getting it. Because the Buddha’s enlightenment was about the recognition of the emptiness of this sense of self.

Our conventional view is that I am here, I have this life, I can get something. But the Buddha in his enlightenment realized that himself and the whole universe were not separate. There is no separate self. Each thing in the universe is connected and a part of the whole. So to say “I separate from You” creates this false dichotomy. And out of this false dichotomy, all suffering grows.  So if Buddha got enlightenment, he already lost it. Because there’s no Buddha to begin with. There’s no Buddha separate from anything else.

Each one of us brings all of our conditioning right into this moment, but we don’t see it.  We see a reflection of it in the world around us, so we judge, and we try to fit the world into our image.  What doesn’t fit, we don’t like, and what does fit, we like.

So in that sense, we make our own suffering.  Or in that sense of urgency, you might say we make our own hell.  We think of hell as something that comes to us after we die, but really we’re making our own hell right here, right now. We are all guilty of it, nobody escapes.  Through practice, we can find our way through it.  Through practice, through wisdom, through our own experience, we can begin to break out of the hell that we make when our conditions make the hell of our lives.

What are we going to do along the way?  That’s the realm of practice.  Do we keep sticking our feet into the realm of suffering?  Or do we connect with our practice center, really wonder about who we are and how to live in this world and find a way.  ”Enlightenment” is a beautiful word. Buddhism loves to throw it around, and nobody knows what it means.  We all have some idea of what it would be if we were enlightened, but that’s just our idea.  Anything we think about it makes it too small, too limited, and too much just a creation of our human mind. Return to the practice, come back to this moment.  What am I doing right now?  And how is it possible to help the situation?

We often say Zen is not really about self improvement. What is the self that you want to improve? Who are you really? That’s the fundamental point. And until we really deal with that question, we are not really getting to the base of practice. Because our desires, our beliefs, and our opinions drag us around. Until we doubt them, investigate them, and use the moment as an investigatory tool, we’re just playing around.

Moment to moment to moment to moment, we’re being reflected and we always have an opportunity to ask the question and observe what is. As we are lost in our mind, in our thinking, our desire, our fears, our confusion, we don’t see anything. It’s all colored. It’s all mirrors. So our teaching is to pierce through the mirror and come back to the moment.

Faith in Buddhism has nothing to do with anything outside of ourselves. It does not necessarily have to do with something supernatural or esoteric. In a sense, it’s faith in our own true nature. It’s faith in a sense that if I can be willing to let go of that certainty. And if I am willing to have the courage to meet the moment, something authentic, real and natural can emerge. Something that I may not understand. Something that may look nothing like I may expect. But there’s a faith that if I just continue on, true nature will reveal itself. It’s already present in all things. In the sense, you can say it’s faith that using great question and great courage is enough. Not needing the certainty of an answer, but trusting the question.

When we talk about correct relationship, we talk about what is actually the relationships present in the moment, not colored by my desire, not colored by my particular slant on things; but what actually is it? We all add something.  So this “correct” we’re talking about takes away this taint of “I”.  And just see, what is it?  That’s the point the Buddha said when he talked about clear seeing.

Clear seeing is the first of The Eightfold Path.  It’s been said that if you can attain clear seeing, you’ve already got all the rest of the Eightfold Path.  Because it’s that stuckness in “I” that we get lost in.

Like or dislike is what creates a prison that we live in. So if you only practice when you want to practice and then don’t practice when you don’t want to practice, that’s a fundamental problem. You are following the winds of your desire, and that’s what leads to suffering. The Buddha’s teaching is very simple. We suffer because of our desire, our anger, and our ignorance. So if our practice is based on desire, all it does is lead us to more suffering.

So what I will suggest for you is look at your life realistically and see what you can do. And then set your sights and your direction on doing that. Likes and dislikes – that’s what you will meet when you sit down. Just do it! And then, don’t be too concerned about success or failure. Your direction says do it, well… I don’t feel like it, so I didn’t do it tonight. Then tomorrow night is a new night, just do it. Just do it! Don’t get stuck in thinking, well if I didn’t do it tonight, then I am done.

Moment to moment, be fresh and alive. Just do what you set out to do. Not just for one week, not for one month, not for one year, not even for one decade. Day after day after day… moment to momenet to moment…