Notes on Suffering

So many of us hate the idea of the First Noble truth, life is suffering. I often hear complaints that ask, what about joy and love and connection. Of course these things exist in our lives. And of course they do not deny the fundamental truth that suffering marks the conditions of our lives. Even in the first blush of love there is fear and longing. Within the greatest joy of our greatest fulfillment is the anxiety of loss or incompleteness. How often have we said to ourselves, is that all there is?

Suffering as an experience can range from minor irritation, like our unhappiness with the weather, to the stark shadow of our impending death. We can say that suffering permeates our subjective view of our life. This is a very important point. Suffering is intimately connected to our view. Suffering is not in the actual moment; it is in the reflection we have about the moment. Most human beings fear death and want it to stay as far away as possible. It is so logical and makes so much sense to us to fear death that if someone does not fear death we think they are crazy. And yet, to fear death means to reflect on death. Death is death, no more no less. But, I doesn’t want to die. It is the existence of the observer, the phantom I which is created out of the accumulated thoughts and feelings we have in reflection of experience which creates the suffering.

As true as this is we also must acknowledge the universal experience of I. The human consciousness inherently (if healthy) creates this reflective I. However, that doesn’t mean this I is clear and sees things as they are. “I” is also by nature distorted by its point of view. Our view is conditioned by what we have experienced in the past and our fears about the future. Because “I” can only reflect on what it knows, it’s perspective is by definition incomplete. Therefore its judgments and decisions are based on incomplete information. In addition, the information we do have is colored by our fears, desires and anger. These hindrances play havoc with our decision making, thereby maintaining and often increasing our subjective experience of suffering.